they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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