Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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