Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
