i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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