The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
