Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
