Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
