Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
