So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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