So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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