help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize