The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
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