It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
