I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just had sex on a roof
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
