You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
