It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
