Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
