Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
