So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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