is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
