please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
