Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
