well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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