Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
