i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
