i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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