Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
