recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
