You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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