Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
someone owes me an orgasm
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
