I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dicks are not precious.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
