"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
