i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
