mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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