I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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