a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
