I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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