their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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