things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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