hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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