Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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