i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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