it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize