You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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