What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Quick, to the slutcave!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
