I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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