i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i believe in u and ur pee
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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