i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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