It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you would pick up someone in the library
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
