I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
