At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize