After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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