I love black thongs
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
