You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
