My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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