dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
