I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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