She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
