hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize