When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
