i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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