You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
